Well, I must start this post with a most "interesting" moment I had with my son yesterday.....a moment that I will surely never forget in my lifetime, and I'm sure the strangers around me who witnessed this "moment" were telling this story to their families at dinner last night.....
I had to go to the eye doctor yesterday. I lost my glasses a few weeks ago, and am getting terrible headaches, so I needed to replace them. My mom is here with me for the week to help us since I cannot drive right now. She took me to this eye appointment, and entertained Jaden while I was meeting with the dr. and selecting my glasses. Let me start by saying this was my FIRST day out with a wig on. I had already been to Jaden's preschool to pick him up, which was my first experience showing off my "new" look. All went well, the wig stayed on (thank God), and my lovely preschool mom friends complimented me and cheered for me when I arrived to pick Jaden up (yes, these gals are amazing....more on them later). Back to my eye appointment.....I was selecting my new glasses, and I should note that the office was quite busy with patients and assistants attending to them, when my son stood up on a chair and shouted over to me...."Mom, you're my sweetie....I love you!" Yes, he's quite the charmer.....all the ladies melted and commented on how adorable he was, when seconds later he had some follow-up comments. While still standing on this chair, and speaking to the entire office he then said..."And mom, I'll still love you even when you lose all of your hair! And mom, why are you wearing that wig today anyway??" OH MY GOODNESS! What was a lovely, charming moment, became quite an embarrassing one in just a matter of seconds! I quickly selected my red glasses, handed the lady my debit card, and flew out of there! Fortunately, I was having a "good" day, so I was, and still am able to laugh about this.....although, it has made me aware that I needed to tell Jaden that talking about Mommy's hair is a private subject that we will not be discussing in public. As embarrassing as it was, Jaden's heart was so sincere, and he meant every word he said, which means more to me than the brief embarrassment I suffered from it.
Well wasn't that an exciting first wig moment? Wow....I certainly wasn't prepared for that! Yesterday morning was like no other....I mean seriously, for the first time since, oh I'm guessing 7th grade, I did not have to style my hair. I say 7th grade because that seems to be the age when I started to really care about my hair style, wasn't it for everybody? Anyway, I got dressed, put on my make-up, and then bravely slipped on my wig, which now fits better because I have less hair (wigs are difficult to try on when you still have hair). The wig I chose to wear was my shoulder length "pecan brown" wig that my sister selected when we were wig shopping together last week. The hair color names make me laugh....pecan brown, buttered toast, toasted walnut.....craziness! After completing this whole process, and primping a bit in the mirror, I took a deep breath, said a tiny prayer, and headed downstairs to enjoy my morning coffee. On my way downstairs the door bell rang....it was a delivery man delivering a "cookie bouquet." It was from one of my dear teaching girlfriends (Jennifer B.). I was so surprised, and touched. I sat down to read her card, and I began to cry. God had truly blessed me with another treasure in this dark moment. Just seconds before this bouquet arrived, I was having one of my most difficult moments in this cancer journey.....similar to the day of my mastectomy. It was a moment of acceptance of another loss....this time my hair, and it was my first experience getting ready for the day without my "own" hair. So Jen, if you're reading this, please know how God used you to bless me in such a unique way, just moments after putting on that pecan brown wig. Thank you for thinking of me, and making me feel special, you are so dear to me, and I'm blessed to have you as my friend.
I'm blessed to have a loving, personal God who uses our friends, and even strangers to encourage us throughout this journey. We are constantly amazed that during our toughest moments we will receive a card in the mail, a special package, an encouraging email, a comment on here....whatever it may be, at just the right time to lift us up. I know I can't mention everyone who has touched us, or done some of these things, but please know how much we have appreciated them, and that they always arrive at just the right time! I have learned so much from our supporters/prayer warriors....that is, just how easy it is to touch someone who is struggling.
A couple more answers to our prayers..... In my last post, I asked you to lift up my caregivers, and pray for renewed strength and energy for them. God is answering those prayers right now. First, Bret had to go out of town for business. This was great for him. A much needed break from cancer, and a time to be refreshed in his job. He has come home renewed and revived! While he was gone, my mom has been here to help me. We spent the entire day in our pajamas....both of us took naps today, enjoyed our coffee together this morning, and our cinnamon tea this afternoon. We have so enjoyed our time together, and she has commented how she needed this "break" for herself. While we have been relaxing together and with Jaden, my friends have blessed us with meals every night....and I must say, my friends are amazing cooks! My mom and I have dined on fabulous meals, and tasty desserts every night! Thank you Christine, Kim, Suzanne, and Andria, and God bless you! When I am finished with this cancer journey, I will never again underestimate what a blessing a meal can be to someone in need!
A couple more things..... I want to thank Joann, and my other preschool mom friends for supporting me in so many ways, but especially by wearing the breast cancer ribbon on your winter coats. I was so touched to see the pink ribbons everyone was wearing yesterday for me. Wow! I'm so glad I didn't break down and cry when I saw you all! Thank you also for "cheering" for me when I arrived yesterday. You are all so dear to me, and your prayers have certainly been felt and answered. God bless each of you!
And my dad.....I have to share what he's been doing for me in Warsaw. Soon after my diagnosis, my dad discovered that Macy's sells pink ribbon key chains to support breast cancer research/awareness. He has purchased hundreds of them, and has been handing them out to friends and strangers all throughout Warsaw as a reminder to pray for me. He shares the story of my "miracle mammogram" when he does, to encourage other women to keep getting there's. We like to tease my dad about these ribbons because Macy's sells these in there lingerie department, and my dad has been there numerous times to restock his supply. Dad, please know we're just giving you a hard time, and that we truly appreciate all you are doing for me, and for breast cancer awareness. It means the world to me! My mom went back to Macy's a couple of days ago to buy more for my dad, and the sales lady said, you know a man keeps coming in here to buy these. She said, "yes, I know, he's my husband." Thank you Dad...and thank you to everyone who has received one, and is thinking of us! :)
We are heading back to Indy for my 2nd round of chemo on Friday. I will get to do it as long as my WBC count is high enough. I also get to have this drain removed, which, I'm soooo excited about! We look forward to having some nice "couple" time during my 6 hour infusion, that is if I don't fall asleep. I also have a dr. appt. with my oncologist. My dad is going with us to meet him....we're hoping this will give him and my mom some reassurance about my prognosis.
Hope you all have a great weekend! God bless!
Harper's Clothes
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