Herceptin, Harry Connick, and Dr. Slamon

One evening a year ago this month, I settled into my evening routine......dinner, clean the kitchen, tuck my son into bed.....and this particular evening I popped some corn and had some chocolate....ready to watch a new lifetime movie. It was a movie starring Harry Connick Jr., which was the only reason I actually sat down to watch it. I knew it had something to do with breast cancer, as they had advertised for it repeatedly all during pink ribbon month! I wasn't so much interested in the breast cancer part, just Harry Connick. Anyway, I invited my husband to watch it with me....after all, I made popcorn and had chocolate......the only way to watch a movie of course! He joined me until he realized it was a lifetime movie, and then quickly disappeared to our basement. Not a problem, I would enjoy this lovely movie and my chocolate all to myself! And I did, for about 5 minutes before I quickly changed channels to some crime drama. All I needed to see was a young mother being diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer......and then fast forward a few frames later she was wearing a turban around her head because she had lost all of her hair from chemo....holy cow! Not what I call a popcorn/chocolate worthy movie.....I can handle many types of shows/movies.....but ones about mothers dying from cancer are like horror films to me.....and this was before I was diagnosed, before I had even scheduled my mammogram. I avoid this genre of books and films at all cost....I've never enjoyed that form of entertainment.

I was diagnosed with my own breast cancer just 2 weeks after seeing those brief 5 minutes in this film. The film continued to air several times, but I still had no interest in seeing it, even after my diagnosis.....until, I realized that the movie was based on the true story about Dr. Dennis Slamon, who developed a cure for an aggressive form of breast cancer....HER2 POSITIVE breast cancers. Yes, the very cancer I was diagnosed with. Only 20-25% of all breast cancers are her2 positive. Before Dr. Slamon developed the antibody HERCEPTIN in 1998, 40,000 women each year would die from this type of breast cancer.

Over the course of my treatment this year, I have often been asked why, if I was just a stage 1, did I have had to do so much chemo and herceptin for an entire year. Her2positive breast cancers grow and spread very quickly in women. And they tend to recur more frequently, and sooner than other breast cancers. On a grade scale of 1-3, my cancer grade was a 3.....meaning it was spreading and growing at a more rapid rate. I was also ER/PR negative, which meant my cancer was not being fed by estrogen or progesterone....so I didn't qualify for any other targeted therapies. All of this information, is what created my specific treatment plan, along with research and clinical studies that have shown that women with early stage her2 breast cancer survived much longer when they combined chemotherapy with herceptin, and were treated with herceptin after chemotherapy for a total of one year. So when this is ALL said and done I will have had 6 rounds of chemo and 17 rounds of herceptin and a double mastectomy ala carte. What a year! :)

So, yes I eventually watched that Harry Connick movie about herceptin and Dr. Slamon. I watched it with complete honor and respect for the women who were in the clinical phases for herceptin.....not all of them survived as they were not all allowed to remain on the drug....the nature of a clinical trial. So yes, many women lost their lives, so that women like me could survive. I have been so humbled by their courage throughout my treatment. On my most difficult days of chemo I would watch this you tube clip below....it is a clip of Dr. Slamon describing herceptin, and a testimony from Louise Cooper...a 10 year her2 survivor....it reminded me WHY I was doing all this crazy cancer treatment...and that I would have a happy ending!

As for an update......you haven't heard from me in 2 months because I encountered a huge bout of fatigue! The herceptin has started to affect my heart function a bit, which has caused me some shortness of breath and fatigue. I need a lot more sleep than I normally do to feel good. The good news is that my heart will return to normal once I'm finished with treatment.....only 3 infusions left! My next heart scan is tomorrow....hoping for my scores to go up.....the last one revealed that my heart function dropped from a 70% to a 58%....if it drops to 50%, I will need to stop the herceptin. I felt so horrible last month, I was ready to QUIT! If all goes as planned, I will be finished on December 12, 2009. Merry Christmas to me! :) Last year I got a double mastectomy for Christmas, this year I'll be celebrating the end of this journey! Praise God!

And of course the most important question of all.....the number 2 question I get asked, next to how am I feeling, is how is my hair? Well, I will post a couple of photos this week....really I will! For any of you who knew me in junior high, I look like I did in 7th grade.....except my hair is curly now. Not sure how that happened.....interesting!

I hope all of you are enjoying the Fall! Love this time of year....don't you! As always, thank you for your love, support, and prayers this year. Nov. 5th will mark 1 year since this journey began for us, and we are still humbled and thankful for all the support you have shown us! God bless!

Getting Back to Normal

Yes, I'm almost back to normal. For any of you who know me personally, you are surely smiling right now because "normal" is not a word you would ever use to describe me or my life, but in the terms of cancer.....YES, I'm almost back to normal!! I've been thinking about this moment since November 5th.....actually then, I was wondering if that would even be a possibility, as I did not know what stage my cancer was at that point. And of course in those first few weeks all I could think about was hoping I would not die! Those thoughts eventually became "surviving" the journey, which for me was surviving chemo!

So how did I get back to normal (are you still smiling)? It's like everything else in this journey...it's a PROCESS! And, I'm sure I'll never really be completely normal.....I mean how "normal" is it to visit your oncologist and surgeon regularly? For me this process began as the last few drips of carboplatin and taxotere made their way out of the IV bag and into my port......I watched them anxiously and hopefully! On my last day of chemo, my nurse gave me less benadryl in my IV since I had never had a reaction to the chemo during my prior infusions. This enabled me to wake up toward the end of the infusion, thus giving me the opportunity to watch each last drip.....preparing to celebrate! And celebrate I did!!

I took my last few photos with my chemo nurses and with my mom who came to this infusion......said my good-byes and thank yous, and hopped into the car to make the trip back home. I knew I had a good 24 hours to spend in my "happy" place before the chemo started to make me sick. We got home, ordered a pizza (for Bret), and even went to a movie at 10pm! I was on my steroids too at this point, which always kept me up late at night.....this helped me stay awake during our movie! :) Bret of course, had to rely on his large coke!

In the days that followed, and as my chemo side effects settled in, I began a downward spiral, this was quite typical for me.....I became very down when I felt sick, but once I felt better, my emotions always improved too.....except this time. I spent most of May "processing" this cancer journey with a range of emotions that included fear, anxiety, shock, sadness. My thoughts were racing and I had difficulties sleeping......thankfully this all began to improve within a month!

In June, things were looking better! I noticed I was actually thinking LESS about cancer. Since my diagnosis in November, my mind was bombarded with cancer 24/7. In the early days of my diagnosis I would wake up in the morning and wonder if it was just a nightmare I had. I felt like I was in that movie with Bill Murray....where he wakes up every morning and relives the same day over and over again....was it Ground Hog's Day? That was exactly how I felt in the early weeks of my diagnosis. I struggled getting out of bed (LITERALLY) during that time. I just wanted to hide under my covers and wish cancer away. It was usually a phone call from a friend or my sister that would get me out of bed in the morning! Back to June.....the cancer thoughts seemed to decrease with out me even trying to make them go away....what a relief and shock. During my treatment, I couldn't imagine a day where I wouldn't think about cancer.

In July, I was reintroduced to my cancer world a few times because I had my follow-up appointments with my surgeon, Dr. Goulet and with Dr. Sledge, my oncologist. Coming into my appointment with Dr. Goulet, I was actually excited to see him! I don't see him as often as I do Dr. Sledge, who I was seeing every 3 weeks during chemo. He is such a delight, truly! He makes me laugh, and I do look forward to seeing him, crazy I know! Or maybe not so crazy, since he did, after all, remove cancer from my body!

Now I may have been a bit arrogant heading into my appointment with him. As I walked into the Simon Cancer at IU in early July, I felt a sense of accomplishment....I'm done with this cancer stuff! I can handle this. I'm excited to see Dr. Goulet....yeah, this is easy! All of that lasted maybe 3 minutes.....the time it took for me to walk up stairs to his office and check in with the receptionist. The butterflies in my stomach returned, the nausea, anxiety....and I couldn't stop it. Logically, I knew there was nothing to fear. I didn't have any tests/scans done...this was just a check up. This should be easy! When I finally did see him, I asked him if there would come a time when I would not be scared to see him. He replied "probably not," and reassured me how "normal" this is.


I continue to do my herceptin infusions here at Edwards hospital every 3 weeks. These of course, are a physical reminder of my cancer journey....but they aren't emotional for me like chemo was. I even look forward to these 30 minute infusions! In "cancer world" one has to try to make positive moments out of some of these things...and for me, this is one of them....and it is not hard to do. I get to sit and read quietly all by myself.......you moms out there can appreciate that...especially if you have an active 5 year old boy like I do! :)

As for our summer.......we have thoroughly enjoyed it! It has been a perfect balance of reading and relaxing on our patio, taking bike rides (our son learned how to ride his bike without training wheels last month)and walks, combined with spending time doing some fun local/city things here....the Morton Arboretum, Field Museum, Millenium Park, Navy Pier.....we've had a great summer!

And I must be getting back to normal because I've also been able to enjoy reading again.....something I've always loved, but had such a difficult time doing during chemo. I just wasn't able to focus at all! It was very frustrating to me. This is actually a true side effect of chemo, called "chemo brain." It didn't just affect my reading abilities, it affected my thinking, processing, speaking, etc. I would find it difficult at times to recall a simple word...like ketchup, or something basic like that. I could be in the middle of a sentence, and just not be able to say the word I wanted. It was terribly frustrating and bizarre! Happy to report that chemo brain has gone away, and I'm able to read and play scrabble with my computer again!







So yes, we are all doing much better now! I'm a bit anxious about summer ending, and coming into Fall.....October and November especially, but as with each step of this journey, I know I have to take it one moment at a time...and enjoy the present!

Our summer concludes with a VERY SPECIAL event that my high school friend Jennifer (Jones) is doing for me. In early spring Jennifer contacted me and asked if it would be ok if she walked the Susan G. Komen 3 Day in my honor. She would have to raise a minimum of $2300 to do so....and I'm happy (and so honored) to report that thanks to many of you she has exceeded her goal. Jennifer and her race partner, Jaimie, have raised over $7000 for breast cancer research! Truly amazing! Many of you (over 500 now) have also joined her cause on facebook! For those of you living in Warsaw, you may have seen Jennifer and Jaimie's story in the Times Union a few weeks ago. This topic deserves it's own post, so I will write more after the event this weekend. Please keep Jennifer and Jaimie in your prayers this weekend. They will be walking a total of 60 miles in 3 days, here in Chicago. Pray for their safety, and for good weather.....calling for storms now! I will meet up with Jennifer on Sunday evening, along with several of our high school friends at Soldier Field for the closing ceremony of the walk. You can learn more about Jennifer's walk on her Komen page here.

Below are photos of Jennifer, Jaimie and my mom at one of the fundraisers they did in Warsaw.

Leslie

The following post will be a tribute to "Leslie"......I say that up front for any of you who have recently been diagnosed with cancer, and may have a difficult time reading it. I'll write an update on our "getting back to normal" lives soon. The very fact that I haven't written in awhile is actually because we are doing just that.....getting back to normal....yes, there is normal living after all the chemo and cancer chaos! If you are up to reading this tribute, be encouraged by ways God used Leslie's story to prepare me for my own journey into cancer.

I have actually intended on writing about Leslie several times, but have never quite found the best way to do so. The following will be based on my recollection of reading her blog last year....

I was introduced to Leslie via her blog in February 2008. My friend Suzanne sent me an email asking me to pray for Leslie. She included a link to her blog for me to read her story, and be up to date on prayer requests for her. She explained that Leslie had surgery and radiation to treat a brain tumor, but that she needed prayer for some problems she was having with infections and would also need some reconstructive surgery. My experience with reading blogs up to this point had only been "happy" and "light" blogs like BooMama or Antique Mommy and Baby Bangs....some of the blogs I have posted on my side bar. I had never read a blog about some one's journey into and through cancer. To be VERY honest, I wasn't quite sure I wanted to do so, as shallow as that may sound. I considered just praying for Leslie without reading her blog, and maybe asking Suzanne about her progress later. I'm now so very glad I didn't do that. With trepidation, I did begin reading her blog, and what I discovered and witnessed in doing so left an eternal imprint on my heart.

When I began reading Leslie's Journey, she was "cancer free." She had already finished her radiation. I thought I would be praying for her to endure an upcoming surgery she was about to have....I believe to remove an infection. It all seemed to go well, as I remember, this was in the Spring of 2008, I recall her writing about attending church on Easter. I was very touched. And I thought this would be the extent of my prayers for her, and I would maybe occasionally check in to see how she was doing. After all she was cancer free.

And then she had this cough, it seemed to be mentioned repeatedly in her posts. It lingered, and as days turned into weeks, I began to wonder where this was heading. At this point I was reading her blog regularly. I had been so touched by her story....her words, and her husbands words. Her husband Tyson was usually the one to update the blog when her condition progressed. Their honesty and vulnerability that they expressed, along with their walk of faith left me wondering each time I read their blog, "how on earth would I cope if this happened to me?....cancer that is..."

Along with questioning how would my faith hold up under such circumstances, it seemed that God was putting Leslie on my heart more and more through out the regular routines of my day. I'd be making my son lunch and think of her...and how she would wish to have the energy to make her 2 year old son lunch, so I would pray. I would wake up in the middle of the night and pray for her. I would often fall asleep praying for her at bedtime. It was quite a bizarre thing really. I never met Leslie, never commented on her blog, never brought her a meal, or sent her a card. She was a complete stranger that I could not stop thinking about.

In May of 2008 Leslie's husband Tyson posted the devastating news that her cancer was back, and had spread to her lungs, and was incurable. She did not have much time left. This news nearly took my breath away. Leslie was a young mother to a 2 year old boy....this is not suppose to happen. How do you tell your son you will be going to heaven soon? How do you say good-bye? The mother in me could barely finish reading that post. The next day I had my regular "weekly" coffee-donut-play date with my friend Kim and her son Jack. Our normal discussions of 3 year old BOY behavior and upcoming birthday parties turned into discussing what we, as mothers would do in this situation...how would we hold up....what would we do to say good-bye to our boys?

I have to be completely honest and confess that at this point in Leslie's journey I was asking God whyyyyy??? Why would He leave her son with out his mommy? Why did she have to be in so much pain....just to breath? And I'd be very dishonest if I didn't admit to asking God why on earth He had me reading this blog about a mother with cancer?

In February 2008 when I began reading Leslie's story, getting breast cancer was the farthest thing from my mind.....I couldn't have imagined that when I began praying for Leslie, that God was really using her faith in walking through the valley of the shadow of death, to prepare me for my own journey into cancer. Leslie went home one year ago today, last July 26, 2008. From February through July there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think of Leslie. God had divinely introduced me to her through a blog which I am eternally grateful for.

Last summer my prayers for Leslie's healing turned into prayers for God to quickly rescue her and take her home. It was so very painful to hear how she struggled physically....and I was just feeling that burden for her from reading about it. I cannot imagine what her husband, mother and father, siblings, and dear friends, were going through watching their sweet Leslie struggle....letting her go. If you read this today, please pray for all of her friends and family.

I don't have many answers to the "why" questions I have asked God about Leslie and cancer in general....but I do have an answer to the how question.....the question I often asked myself when I was reading about Leslie and praying for her....the "how on earth would I handle such a journey" question.... the answer is......

I CAN'T!

I can't handle such a journey in my own strength...
but "I can do everything through HIM who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

Thank you Leslie.

You can read Leslie's story from her diagnosis to her going home here.
You can read the continued journey of Tyson and their son TJ here.

Race for the Cure

I've been so excited to write about this event, and to write about someone/thing other than myself!!! My friend Beth (from high school) planned this special occasion for me and my family. Let me tell you about my dear friend Beth.....I actually met her when we were both in first grade at Lincoln Elementary School. There aren't too many memories from my childhood that do not include Beth! We experienced so much together from 1st grade all the way through college at IU! Slumber parties, dance recitals, cheer leading, braces, bad hair days, boys, bible studies, trips to Kings Island, prom, Campus Crusade in college, car accidents, weddings, REALLY bad hair days, and so much more! Some of my favorite memories do include some bad hair moments between the two of us. In junior high I actually cut Beth's medium length hair into a short, chin length bob....if my memory serves me correctly, I believe it turned out just fine, and she may have even liked it! Actually, she must have liked it because several years later she asked me to style her lovely thick hair for our junior prom. I thought she needed some curl...or maybe that was her idea....anyway, Beth came over to my house several hours before prom so I could put hot rollers in her hair. Needless to say, her hair liked the hot rollers a little tooooo much. All I remember is how "boingy" the curls were, and how BIG her hair looked. It was a disaster! I still laugh when I look at our junior prom pictures.....not at her hair, at the memory!






Fast forward a few years, and Beth was there to help me with my own hair disaster!! A month before my wedding I came home to get my hair highlighted....something I had done for years! I went to the same place I had always gone to, so I really had no reason to be concerned about this appointment. My bridal portraits were actually scheduled for the next day, so this was a very important event! Well for whatever reason, my normal highlights turned out to be anything BUT normal! My hair turned completely orange, not just a little orange,but Warsaw Tiger orange! It was a disaster! I drove to Beth's house immediately after this appointment hoping she would help me fix it, or lie to me and tell me it wasn't that bad! She was unable to do either. She washed my hair numerous times in her parents' bathroom, and she laughed so hard when she intitally saw me, actually I don't think she ever stopped laughing!

And that brings me to my most recent and obvious hair crisis. Right around the time when I began to lose my hair from the chemo, I received a care package from Beth. She made a little photo book for me, detailing many of the memories I listed above. She also initiated doing the Race for the Cure in Indy. She created a team called “Gretta’s Groupies,” and she invited many of our former classmates who live in Indianapolis to join. Thank you Vickie, Robyn, Beth, and Renee, for joining Beth’s team, and supporting me in such a unique and special way. For those who could not attend the race on Saturday, another friend of mine, Stephanie, initiated having a dinner at her home on Friday evening. Stephanie is a special friend from our class too, and she is also Connie’s daughter. It was such a treat to have Stephanie host all of us former “tigers” for a little mini-reunion.

The Race weekend will always be a treasured memory for me in this cancer journey! I looked forward to it for weeks, and it got me through the tail end of my chemo! Thank you Beth, Stephanie, Robyn, Vickie, Dan and Amy, Chad, and my family for making it so special!

I'm Still Here......

Hello! Sorry it's been a over a month now since I've updated. I really do not have anything exciting to report....we are just trying to get back to some type of NORMAL living here in my home. Well, actually "normal" is pretty exciting to me! I have missed my normal,pre-cancer life! "Normal" has been more difficult to return to than I thought it would be. One reason is because I was more exhausted than usual after that last round of chemo. I just couldn't bounce back as quickly as I was anticipating! The other reason is due to the range of emotions I experienced upon completing that last round of chemo.

Several days before my last chemo I began to get very anxious about ending treatment. It's not like I wanted to keep doing chemo, but not doing it scared me! I guess it was more of a security blanket to me than I thought! What a love/hate relationship I had with it! I absolutely hated how it made me feel, and how my life felt like it was on hold when I was doing it.....then it ends and I freak out! Fortunately, my doctors educated me about this phenomenon, but like everything else in this journey, I of course thought...not me...I'll be fine! :)

Along with the anxiety and fear associated with the end of my treatment....Bret and I have both found ourselves asking each other...."what on earth just happenned?".....did I really just have 6 cycles of chemo, and a mastectomy? Holy Cow! We both are still in a bit of shock and awe that this even happenned to me/us. I think when you go through something like this, you go into "survival" mode, to just get through each moment of the day, each step of treatment, each side effect.... When you finally reach the other side of it....the end, you are left to process what happenned...and that is where we are now....processing the last 6 months, which feel like a deep fog we've come out of. A few weeks ago, I was at Kohl's doing some shopping, and I thought to myself....I wonder when they will put out their Christmas things.....I snapped out of that thought pretty quickly! I was diagnosed with breast cancer back in November....my surgery was in early December....it was at the time when I was just beginning to think about shopping and decorating for the holidays, but instead, my plans and thoughts then had to make a dramatic switch from planning for the holidays, to surviving the next 6 months of treatment. I'm so glad to be on the other side of this journey now! I hope I never have to experience any of this again!

And that of course leads me to the joy and relief I have experienced upon completing chemo. The two have come in waves.....I thought on my last day of chemo, that joy and relief would be an immediate, consistent reaction, but instead they come and go. I am experiencing both of them now more consistently than I did a month ago! Thank goodness! The last thing Dr. Sledge said to me at my final chemo appointment was to remember that every day is a victory! I'm going to take his advice! :)

There are so many things for me to be joyful about...especially this month! Last week we celebrated our son's 5th birthday! What a special day! I always get a bit emotional with each of Jaden's birthdays. When you are raising babies and small children everyone always tells you to enjoy each day because they grow up so quickly....they certainly do! I can't believe our little guy will be heading to kindergarten in the FAll! It seems like yesterday when we were changing his diapers, and had a house full of baby and toddler things...you know, the pack and play, exersaucer, bouncy seat....all that STUFF that seems to take over your home (don't miss that part).

And of course, this year was probably a bit more emotional for me because of the journey we just completed. When I asked Jaden a month ago what he wanted for his birthday he said, "I want mommy's ponytail back." He has also prayed at dinner and at bedtime on occasion since February for my ponytail to return. Ouch! The one thing we can't get for him.

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in November we told Jaden that mommy had a boo-boo that her doctor was going to take out (surgery), and that mommy would also be getting some special medicine (chemo) to make sure the boo-boo wouldn't come back. We never used the word cancer with him, yet one day in February he out-of the- blue asked me if my cancer was all gone. He also started to call my rounds of chemo my 3rd cancer, 4th cancer, 5th cancer, etc.... Then he heard something on tv about cancer one day, and shouted out to me saying...."mom, I didn't know mens could get cancer too!" (yes he did say mens....that's not a typo.. :) Fortunately, he's never asked me about dying, or made any type of connection to death in regards to cancer. He speaks very casually and comfortably about it, which I'm oh so thankful for! The only time he has gotten upset about my cancer was 2 weeks ago. We were eating dinner, and Bret and I were working out the schedule for my herceptin infusion for the next morning. Jaden became very upset and started to cry. He said, "mommy, you said you were done with cancer....you already had your 6th cancer (chemo)!" I tried to explain how simple this other treatment was..the herceptin. Mommy will be here to do it, it only takes 30 minutes....the length of 1 show of Diego. You will be with daddy. He did not find those details comforting.

Back to joy.....we had a very special day with Jaden....just the 3 of us for his birthday. We ate lunch at our FAVORITE restaurant...Egg Harbor Cafe, where Jaden orderd his rainbow pancakes. We made cupcakes together, and put the pool up for him. Very simple, but sweet! I'm so excited to spend the summer with him, getting back to my normal mom duties!

I know I say thank you a lot on this blog! Here I go again..... when I began this journey into cancer, God blessed me with the treasures of darkness verse from Isaiah (see my profile). As dark and dreary as cancer has been, I can honestly say there are so many treasures I have received along the way. Please don't get me wrong....I wouldn't recommend cancer to anyone! But God can take any circumstance and use it for good....and he has in this journey! Each of you have blessed me just with your prayers and support. My family has taken care of me, my local friends have cared for us, and even my friends far away have stepped in to show us their love and support. I couldn't have asked for or even imagined a better way to travel through cancer. God bless each of you!

My most recent treasure was from my group of preschool mom friends. My friend Christine organized a surprise party for me to celebrate my completion of chemo! My mom and sister were at this party too, how they kept the secret for so long is amazing! I talk to my mom and sister several times a day! Anyway, I was completely surprised, which is very hard to do! Every one was pretty in pink! The food was amazing Christine! Thank you Grace, Karen, Andria, Joann, Christine, Mindy, Mom and Kanoshia!

One last thing to help my guilt. I am sooooo sorry if you have emailed me or facebooked me and I haven't replied....just like I haven't updated this blog. I have felt a bit overwhelmed with getting back to my normal schedule and mom duties again, so I haven't gotten around to replying to many messages. I look forward to reconnecting with everyone soon!

Oops, another thing....several of you have asked about the RACE FOR THE CURE photos....I will post them soon! My dear friend Beth who I've known since 1st grade planned this event for me. My sweet friend Stephanie (Connie's daughter) hosted all of us for dinner at her home the night before. I can't wait to write about this "treasure" too! God bless you girls!

Hello! I finished my 6th and final round of chemo on Friday. It feels like this cancer journey began an eternity ago!! It was just back in November when I was diagnosed, December when I had my mastectomy, and January when I began chemo......what a crazy (not so fun) journey this has been! I'm so very anxious to to get back to some kind of normal living again! :)

We have decided to do the herceptin infusions here locally, since they do not have any side effects, and are much shorter than the chemo infusions. I'm looking forward to not having to travel every 3 weeks, and to finally unpack!


Keeping this one short.....still getting over chemo side effects. I look forward to writing a post about THE RACE FOR THE CURE that I was able to do with my high school friends 2 weeks ago. I do want to thank EVERYONE for all your support through prayers! We have all needed every single prayer you offered up, we have felt them, and have been sustained by them on our most difficult days of this journey. Thank you so much for your love and support! God bless each of you!

Our God is Mighty to Save

Hello! It's been awhile! I need to write more often.....I know it helps me, and it's good to update my faithful prayer warriors. It seems that when I finally come out of my "chemo coma," I'm so excited to feel normal for a week before my next round that I get busy enjoying that bit of "normal" living and I just don't what to slow down to write very much. Then on my bad chemo recovery days, I feel so very negative....I'd probably be embarrassed for all the dirt I'd share. Bottom line is CHEMO IS NOT FUN.....I finished round 5 last Friday. The side effects are "cumulative" now....much more intense than they were in the first few rounds....I just can't wait to be done!!!!!

That's all I'm writing about chemo this time. It's Easter weekend, and how could I not be especially grateful to celebrate Easter this year??? God LITERALLY saved my life last November through a "miracle mammogram" that I almost didn't get. I'm more humbled than ever by His grace and presence in my life, His gentle hand that protected me and guided me to that mammogram. He used the gift of adoption to prompt me to get the mammogram. He used my OBGYN who was the one who initiated that I get a "baseline" mammogram back in July 2008 simply because I had just turned 35. He blessed me with Connie who got me into the IU Simon Cancer Center where I would meet Dr. Sledge and Dr. Goulet (2 of the most amazing men I would ever meet) who would orchestrate my treatment plan, thus saving my life. God has also blessed me through a doctor I have never met, but one who is most instrumental in my treatment plan. His name is Dr. Dennis Slamon. He developed the cure/treatment for my type of cancer (HER2) in 1998. He worked for over 10 years to develop Herceptin....my miracle drug. Before then, women with my type of cancer had very poor outcomes due to the aggressive nature, and rapid growth rate of HER2 breast cancer. BUT....AND THIS IS A VERY BIG BUT......

Before God "literally" saved my life here on Earth this past November, He saved my life for all eternity by sending His own son, Jesus, to die on the cross for me. How could I not be most grateful for this? Because you know, I am going to die.....SOMEDAY! But I need not be scared or frightened by death, because for the Christian, there is eternal life.....yes, I will get to spend eternity in Heaven with my family, friends, and loved ones. And this is something to be excited about! If you have ever wondered what Heaven will be like, I would highly recommend a book by Randy Alcorn titled "Heaven." I read it 2 years ago after my cousin John died. I was so touched and encouraged by what we have to look forward to for eternity.

So this Sunday, when I'm praising God for His son, for the sacrifice he made on the cross, for the miracle of the resurrection....that empty tomb! I'm going to be thanking Him for saving me and securing my future for all eternity, and for saving me now....giving me more time here on Earth to be a mother to my precious Jaden, a wife to my Bret, a sister to Kanoshia, a daughter to Marlin and Angela, an Aunt to Gracie, Frances, and Ruby, and a friend to my girlfriends! I am blessed! I included a video of one of my favorite songs below..."Mighty to Save" Have a very special Easter! God bless each of you!